Acupuncture: I'm a Believer.

 

A few months ago a friend brought up the idea of reproductive acupuncture to me. I had never heard of this before so I spent some time doing some research. After hearing several success stories and having another friend mention this concept to me (seemingly out of the blue) I decided to give it a try. During this time I had been extremely stressed about various things in life and wasn't coping well with all of my emotions and everything on my plate...so hubs and I decided that even if acupuncture wasn't successful in helping us get pregnant it was worth it as a means to help with my stress levels.

 

My doctor (who happens to be a chiropractor) uses acupuncture to not only target the reproductive system but also focuses a lot of the points (location of the needles) on stress points in the body.

I have been getting acupuncture weekly for a little over a month now. I can say that since starting acupuncture I am feeling the benefits. No, I am not pregnant...but my body can feel the difference on a daily basis. Whether this is merely psychological or not I don't know. What I can say though is that a few weeks ago I went in with a sinus infection. The doc placed some needles in my face, focusing on my sinus cavity and by the time I left the office 30 minutes later my sinuses were cleared out and remained that way. I also know that I look forward to this time of solitude and relaxation at each visit. I also look forward to feeling release from some of the pressure and stress from the days before. 

 

Looking back over all of the IUI's we did last year I feel like we wasted so much money, drained our savings and drained our emotions. At least with acupuncture I can say that even if the end result is not what we hoped there are noticeable differences and benefits along the way and this money is money well spent.

Praises in the Storm

I was sure by now
That You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away, stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say, Amen and it's still raining

As the thunder rolls
I barely hear Your whisper through the rain, "I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls I raise my hands
And praise the God who gives and takes away

And I'll praise You in this storm and I will lift my hands
For You are who You are no matter where I am
And every tear I've cried You hold in Your hand
You never left my side and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

-Casting Crowns, I Will Praise You in the Storm

Lately, life has been a little harder. Circumstances are not fair and there is no way to justify or understand why things happen the way they do or when they do. The unfairness of life always tends to hit when you least expect it. One minute things are great, I have optimism about the future, I am relishing in the grace of God...and then I turn around and anger, sadness, and bitterness slap me in the face. Satan has a radar for when we are down and at our weakest because that is when he strikes the hardest. One sad blow seems to be followed by another and another. My otherwise present strength and confidence seem to be fleeting along with sanity, peace, and contentment.

But just as the lyrics say above, I will continue to praise God in the storm. I know he has never left my side. He is constant and faithful and loves me more than I can even fathom. However, that doesn't mean that I won't feel angry, sad, and confused. Praising in the storm doesn't mean that tears won't fall. What it does mean though is that my circumstances and feelings do not change the constant and never-ending love of Christ. I will continue to praise...but at the same time  my heart will also continue to break.

The NOAH Controversy

There has been a great deal of controversy leading up to the release of the recent movie Noah. Even before the movie was released and even before it had been seen, people were taking their stance and choosing their sides on their beliefs and thoughts about the movie. 

 

I had mixed feelings going into watching the movie. However, I was competent enough to know this was not going to be the Sunday school story of Noah that I heard growing up as a child. I also realized that this was a Hollywood film...a secular film with only hints of the real story of Noah. I have now seen the movie though and I can say that I really, really liked it. No...the movie did not follow the true Biblical story of Noah and his family. But this is Hollywood. And why would I ever expect Hollywood not to add their own spin on a historical event. 

And yet, even despite Hollywood's own spin on the story of Noah, the end result was still a story of love, grace, and mercy.

Despite my better judgment I spent some time earlier reading comments following a blog in which a writer advised the Christian community to avoid seeing this movie because of the perverse way Noah's story was told. To say I was appalled by what I read would be an understatement. There were 800+ comments following this blog with the majority of them full of condemnation, judgment, and hatred. I read things such as 'You can't be a Christian and like this movie.'

 'I am a Christian and because of that I will not spend my money to support this.'

'No Christian has any business seeing this.' 

'Maybe you should go back and read your Bible.'

'You are not a Christian if you endorse this film'

I am a Christian. I have seen the movie and I would see it again.

I believe the Biblical story of Noah and I believe the story of Noah happened in a way that varies from this movie. I also believe Biblical truths of love, not casting judgment on others, and kindness. And yet, the majority of things I am reading are not words of love and kindness. They are statements I am ashamed of. Words of judgment and hate that should not be coming from anyone's mouth...let alone the mouth of a Christ follower.

I feel like so often the Christian community is searching for things to get upset about. They seem to just be searching for controversy in which to fill their time up with. So much time is spent looking for the wrong in things that we miss all of the good.

While people are so busy focusing on how the story differed from the Bible they miss the fact at how huge it is that a Bible story has been made into a Hollywood motion picture. No, it may not be the Bible story we know and love...but it is still a Bible-inspired story. And even with Hollywood's take on the story there is still an incredible message of love and mercy. I am just glad that I was able to see it through all of the propaganda being spewed all over the place. I hope that you will be able to as well.

 

 

choices.

A few weeks ago I got congratulated twice in one week on my 'pregnancy' (which before you get ahead of yourself...no, I am not pregnant). The first occasion happened during a phone call to the hospital where I had my million ultrasounds done while we were doing our IUI's. I had called to sort out a billing question and as the woman on the other end of the phone looked over my bills she casually said, 'Looks like someone is having a baby. Congratulations." I replied shocked, 'I'm sorry, are you referring to me?' 'Yes,' she said, followed by another 'Congratulations.' I hastily informed her that no, I am not pregnant. To which I received silence.

Two days later I was at Kroger attempting to find prenatal vitamins (again, not pregnant, just a recent recommendation by my doctor to begin taking). I asked this sweet man for help and after he showed me to the prenatal section of the vitamin isle he smiled and gave me a big 'Congratulations on your baby.' While I should have just let it slide, I quickly informed him no, I am not pregnant. He clearly felt awful and I assured him several times that it was fine.

Luckily these instances occurred now and not a few months ago. Because of where I am emotionally and the progress I have made, these situations did not make me break down in tears about the sorrow of my life but instead brought some laughter. And while I am in a completely different place than I was a few months ago it still comes down to a choice about my reaction to the circumstances of life. It so easy to let life's trials cause bitterness and resentment. I have been a victim of these feelings a lot over the past two years. And sometimes I even want to hold onto my bitterness, sadness, hopelessness, and anger. But at the end of it all I am tired of carrying all of the weight those feelings bring. I have too long allowed our struggle with infertility to guide my days. I was recently reminded that no matter what is going on in my life, no matter the pain or uncertainty, Jesus is still the King of my life. He still loves me each minute of the day, even the days that I am angry with Him or want nothing to do with His plans for my life. Life is full of so many choices...not only choices about where to go, what to say, and how to spend our time but also choices over how we react to situations, the mindset we take during trials, and the choice to remain either hopeful, accusatory, or in a state of despair. Instead of pointing my finger and blaming others (including God) and instead of choosing to be downtrodden and negative I have decided that each day, I will throw off the bitterness and resentment over unanswered questions. I could easily choose to remain as I have been and sit in my puddle of self-pity or I could choose to be reminded daily, multiple times each day, of God's great plan for my life.

We each have a choice of how to live our days. Some days we may stray off the path of positively and strength but I want to choose to live my life with expectation for what is in store. The future is so uncertain and as Coy and I start looking forward with a clean canvas, free of any of the plans we had two years ago, we are filled with both sadness of letting go of our dreams of a family but also thankfulness that we are able to go through life together. Because in the end, life is too short and too beautiful of a journey to live it full of sorrow and sadness over what could have been. And while I may not live this out every day of my life, from now on I am dedicated to making a choice to let go of the things that have held me down. With each passing day I will make a conscious choice to look forward to the future with expectation of greater things to come.

"Yes, my soul, finds rest in God, my hope comes from Him." Psalms 62:5

life is beautiful.

It has been a crazy few weeks. Although life has been really busy lately it has been a good reminder of just how blessed my life is. I have spent a lot of time over the past few weeks celebrating. Celebrating birthdays of those I love, celebrating holidays, and celebrating friendships.

Sometimes even in the midst of chaos it is nice to take a second to step back and acknowledge just how beautiful life is. Yes, sometimes life is messy and hard. But other times, the times that really count...are smiles and laughter, friendship, family, and good, good memories.

 

 



 Judah and Eve both had birthdays (Judah turned 4 and Eve turned 3!!)

! I cannot believe how amazing my nephews and nieces are.

The brighten even the dullest of days.

 I love whenever friends come to town. I loved having Jess around and spending quality time together. Coy and Andy were even willing to spend the evening with 7 beautiful girls.

The Archdiocese knows how to celebrate. For Mardis Gras we celebrated with an afternoon of Yats (heaven), hurricanes, and festive music.

 Christy and Amy celebrated 30 right. It was such a fun weekend made only better by Adi and her sisters coming into town. Although I was exhausted at the end...I wouldn't trade this time for anything!

 

 (sometimes I pretend I am a Berger)

My favorite three-some!

Oscars 2014

As much as I love awards shows...The Oscars seems to always be the most glamorous. People don't seem to go as crazy with their outfit choices and everyone tends to look so beautiful. Of course there were a few who made me turn my nose up...but not even enough for a 'worst dressed' this year.

I could literally spend hours looking at pictures of people from the Oscars...the before, the during, and the after parties.

Below are my top choices for Best Dressed 2014 (and I already can't wait for next year!)

 

 Kelly Osborne.

 Olivia Wilde.

 This dress isn't spectacular but she is rockin' that baby bump...oh and she's gorgeous!

Idina Menzel.

 Although I would have loved this dress in a different color

 Kerry Washington.

I am obsessed with her! Again, rockin' the baby bump!!

 John Stamos.

Love the all-black attire.

 Angelina Jolie.

I couldn't find a solo picture of her...luckily her date isn't looking too shabby himself.

She looked so beautiful!

 Sandra Bullock.

Love the color, love the style, and love her hair.

 Channing Tatum and Jenna Dewan-Tatum.

There were a lot of dynamic duos this year...however, I have to say there were my favorite.

This dress is so gorgeous...the color, the style, the feathers...I love it all!

Charlize Theron

I wasn't quite sure at first if I was sold on this dress. However, when she came out to present she took my breath away. I first felt weird about the nude straps. Then I felt weird about the see-through overlay. But in the end...this dress and she won my heart.

Will Smith.

LOVE this combo. So classy.

 

Honorable mentions:

Jennifer Lawrence

Julia Roberts

Jared Leto

Cate Blanchett

Christian Bale

 

 

Until next season!

 

 



 

#dogmom

In late September I said goodbye to my sweet girl Sophie. This was one of the saddest things that had happened to me and Coy and I both swore off ever getting another dog and carrying out the rest of our days with just Murphy. However, not a month later I saw a picture of a dog and I knew that I needed that dog's sister. Macy joined our family in November and I am so happy that she did.

Some might say I am majorly mildly obsessed with these two angels below...and they may be right. I am not have real-life children but I do have kids. Murphy has amazed me at how much he loves Macy and she may be the best thing to have ever happened to his life.

Although you may think I post a lot of pictures of Macy and Murphy on social media you have no idea just how much restraint I practice in not posting more photos than I already do!

They are the best of friends and are my favorite little things!

Hopefully you can enjoy their pictures as much as I do!