Busy Like Bees

The last few weeks have just been flying by! We have been pretty busy and it doesn't seem to

be slowing down anytime soon! I guess it is better for things to be busy but I am looking

forward to the dead of winter where no one wants to leave their house. And that is the

only thing about winter I am looking forward to.

For now, I am loving the slow-coming fall weather and excited for the upcoming sweatshirt and sweater weather. If only it could stay that way without adding a coat!

 A few weeks ago we went to "Under the Sea Adult Prom." Complete with De Lorean, a 50's band, and big prom dresses.

 

We did some long overdue house work! We bought these 

fixtures nearly 6 months ago and I have been nagging hubs since then to get them installed. They are finally done and they are beautiful! Finally the old 1990 eye sore of a light fixture are gone! Before this miracle happened however hubs and his parents demolished our backyard while I was away. I came home to the picture above! Once I got the overwhelming-ness of it all I loved the final product! We finally have some sun popping through our otherwise huge tree.

 I harvested some fresh basil from my garden! It was delicious.
I am fairly proud of it, considering this and my tomatoes are the only

things blooming out of the 10 items that I planted earlier this year!

I had a disastrous mild mishap while getting ready for work one day. This was my HUGE smoothie all over the counter, wall, etc, etc. And course I wasn't going to waste all of this deliciousness so I was forced to scoop it back into my cup and drink it!

Hubby and I spent several days with these sweeties while their parents basked in the sun in Florida. They are precious and were so well behaved and sweet during our time with them. It went by too quickly but I was also glad to get back to our much less chaotic life of two.

I went to a recently opened Starbucks and fell in love. I'm not sure if it was just the newness of it or the modern décor they had but it will now be my new favorite place to meet friends and/or read a book (if I ever get the chance to go and do that!)

I also got a spend several hours with these two angels. Although Elayne was a little sick, it just made a little more snuggly, which I cannot complain about. My heart just overflows with my love for these precious babies!

 

To take full advantage of a recent work trip to Cincinnati I introduced hubby to Ikea. His life was changed, and even though he is not much a shopper, I think he fell in love a little.  

Music for the Heart

Lately I have been spending more time paying attention to the lyrics of songs and less attention to

sound of the song. Of course both are important but I have found particular encouragement and company from certain songs recently. It really is true that songs speak to the heart.

Below are some song lyrics that have been speaking to my heart in the past week. Of course after the fact I have forgotten a few others but I hope that you can find some encouragement from

these words as I have been able to!

 

I can sing in the troubled times
Sing when I win
I can sing when I lose my step
And fall down again
I can sing 'cause You pick me up
Sing 'cause You're there
I can sing 'cause You hear me, Lord
When I call to You in prayer

I can sing with my last breath
Sing for I know
That I'll sing with the angels
And the saints around the throne

- "How Can I Keep From Singing Your Name" Chris Tomlin

 

 

What if my greatest disappointments or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy
What if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are your mercies in disguise

- "Blessings" Laura Story

 

There's a place, there's a place you can run
When you fall, and it's all come undone
You'll be safe in the raging storm
So just let go
'Cause you are held in His arms
Step out on the edge
Don't be afraid of it
And when you feel the rain
Call His name
He'll find you in the hurricane

- "Hurricane" Natalie Grant

 

You know my every longing
You've heard my every prayer
You've held me in my weakness
Cause you are always there
So I'll stand in full surrender
It's your way and not my own
My mind is set on nothing less
Than you and you alone
I will not be moved
Whatever will come my way
Through fire or pouring rain
We won't be shaken
No we won't be shaken
Whatever tomorrow brings
Together we'll rise and sing
That we won't be shaken

- "We Won't be Shaken" Building 429

 

I'm tired
I'm worn
My heart is heavy
From the work it takes to keep on breathing
I've made mistakes
I've let my hope fail
My soul feels crushed
By the weight of this world
And I know that you can give me rest
So I cry out with all that I have left
Let me see redemption win
Let me know the struggle ends
That you can mend a heart that's frail and torn
- "Worn" Tenth Avenue North

 

 



Our Infertility Journey Part III

Our journey with infertility continues. (Part I & Part II) And incase you haven't figured it yet by the fact there is a part three, our fourth IUI was unsuccessful. Looking back over the past almost two years of a monthly disappointment the days all run together in big blurs. I'm sure though that this particular day, as with the rest, was filled with tears, feelings of hopelessness and defeat, and more tears. The thing I do remember though is that this day was dragged into multiple days due to some extra checking that the doctor wanted to do, which included an (negative) at home pregnancy test and a (negative) in-office blood pregnancy test. Despite the disappointment, we quickly recovered and went on with our lives (because really, what other choice is there). We stuck to our word and took a month off of doctor's appointments, medications, and procedures. We were lucky enough to spend a week of this month in Florida with my family, where a strict 'no talking about our infertility' rule was enforced. We came back home refreshed and renewed and confident that God would bless our month off with a natural conception, because in our minds what better way to give God the glory in this situation. However, as with our entire journey, God has other (and greater) plans for our lives.

 

This past weekend we completed our fifth and final IUI. Going into the appointment Coy and I had already decided this would be our last. Not only because of the financial burden of these procedures every month (and not to mentioned that Coy has been without a job for the past 2+ months) but also because of the emotional toll it takes on both of us. We know that it is time to get our focus back on life itself and away from all of the attention that fertility treatment demands. Although we know this was our last IUI we are not sure what the next route is. Whether we step away from treatments all together and begin making other plans for our life that do not involve children, or whether we start saving for IVF (which costs a whopping $12,000) remains to be discovered. Our prayer is that we won't have to worry about the other options because this IUI will be successful, but if not we will continue to pray for direction and peace.

 

That being said, this recent procedure brought a great deal of finality for me. And while part of this was relief to be done with the monthly stress of all that a procedure involves the other part involved a bit of mourning surrounding the fact that while we are not giving up on the idea of having our own child, we are giving up on some of the hope that the IUI's brought. And although it should have been this way all along, we must now put 100% of our hope and trust in the power and promises of God, because there is no longer any human procedure or medication for us to find our hope in.

 

I read this verse Sunday night (after our IUI) and it came at a perfect time, a reminder of God's plans for our lives and the restoration that he is going to continue to provide to us.

"The God of grace, who called you into his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm, and steadfast. To Him be the power for ever and ever." 1 Peter 5: 10-11 

Dog: man's (my) best friend.

Fact: I am an obsessed dog mom.

Also Fact: I am not ashamed of this.

Dog's really are man's best friend. These dogs are seriously like my children. And I know that probably only is because I don't have children but nonetheless they're my babies. The best part is that they are best friends too (as you can see below). Unless you have a dog you probably don't understand...but if you do, you totally get this love I am talking about.

Life as we Know it.

We went to the Colts training camp...which just happens to be held at my al mater...Anderson University. Although we only stayed about an hour it was fun to see all of the players for the first time this season!

The State Fair is one of my favorite times of year. Mostly because I love eating all the heavenly food that I don't get the rest of the year. But...the animals and rides are also a good time...

 Obsessed with these pigs. I had to convince myself not to snatch

one of the little babies to take them home with me.

 Wow. This was probably the best thing I have ever eaten...fried cookie dough.

 My life will never be the same.

World's Biggest Popcorn Ball. Who knew this award existed but there you have it.

After doing some work in Cincinnati hubs and I headed to Kings Island and spent a great afternoon and evening at Kings Island. We both had spent many trips here growing up and it was fun to make a new memory together. It was so much fun! And if you ever go...make sure you power through the fear, knotted stomach, and almost tears (not saying this happened to anyone first hand) to ride the Diamondback. Also - don't miss out on the Firehawk...it's crazy!

 Thanks to someone majorly hooking us up we went to the first preseason game of the Colt's season. Although no one really cares of preseason it was a great seeing the starters play for a few series and it didn't hurt that we had amazing seats! Seriously - best seats. We will be spoiled whenever we go again because our seats will never be this good again.

 

 

Hope.

The funny thing about hope is that it can encompass many different things. Above all I have my hope in the Lord. But beyond that it is imperative (to my sanity and emotional/mental wellbeing) that I also hope in things that are more tangible. Through a lot of discussion recently and some real heart searching Coy and I have come to the conclusion that while we are desperately hoping to be blessed with a child we must also have hope in a future that does not involve any children. All of the plans and dreams that we have had for our future involved children; however, as with all things, the future is unclear and may not unfold as we have imagined. With that becoming more of a reality with each passing day it has recently become increasingly important to us to develop dreams for ourselves that does not involve a baby. There are no dreams in life that even compare to the desire I have within me to get pregnant, to be a mother and to see Coy be a father. With each passing day this desire seems to be slipping farther and farther away. We have decided that instead of wadding around daily in that 'what if's and why not's' we will also start dreaming of a future with just the two of us. This is not giving up hope - instead it is just the opposite. It is desperately holding onto hope while also having hope about the alternative. Because the reality is that if I did not find something alternative to hope for I would be in a pit of despair.

 

This fact remains - God has a plan for our lives. Of course in our mind we desire for it to involve future children and a growing family. But if this is not the route our lives take, God still has a plan. We must choose to daily find hope in our sufferings. We must daily choose to believe that God's purpose and plan for our lives is greater than anything we can see at the present.

 

As Romans 5:3-5 says,

'There’s more to come: We continue to shout our praise even when we’re hemmed in with troubles, because we know how troubles can develop passionate patience in us, and how that patience in turn forges the tempered steel of virtue, keeping us alert for whatever God will do next. In alert expectancy such as this, we’re never left feeling shortchanged. Quite the contrary—we can’t round up enough containers to hold everything God generously pours into our lives through the Holy Spirit!" (The Message).  

 

As much as I do not want to imagine a different outcome then what we have been seeking I must also continue to hope and to dream, believing that this beautiful life to which I have been given will continue to be blessed and lived out with a purpose that glorifies God. I must choose "to not lose heart, though outwardly I am wasting away, yet inwardly I am being renewed day by day. My light and momentary troubles are achieving for me an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So I will fix my eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what I see is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." (2 Corinthians 4:16-18).





 

The beach...my second home.

This past week has been ROUGH adjusting to life after vacation.

We spent an amazing week in Flagler Beach, Florida. Although it was a week filled with a few more thunderstorms than I would have hoped for it was still a great week. We spent the week in a beautiful home on the beach and had a lot of laughs, rest, and relaxation. The problem with vacation is that it always arrives slowly and then passes by entirely too quickly. Coming into this vacation week I can't remember the last time I was so excited to have a week away. The week did not disappoint and it was full of everything that I was needing at the time. I am so thankful for my parents who makes this annual trip a possibility and for a family that I actually enjoy and love spending time with.

Above all, I am blessed.

 

 First dinner out on the beach!

 best friend cousins.

 it was as beautiful on the inside as it is on the out!

 love this guy!

 waiting for dinner in Saint Augustine.

 view from our third floor balcony.

 making the most of the rain.

 love being an aunt and an uncle.

 favorite little coffee/ice cream shop in Saint Augustine.

our favorite place to be.  

 our humble abode.

 annual family pic.

 nana and papa and the kids.

love my sissies.

 

Already counting down to my next vacation...whenever that might be!